14 subtle hacks to win people over

In most relationships there will always be some disagreements. Rather than trying to avoid conflict altogether, it can be helpful to learn a few strategies for arguing well. If you can reason in a healthy and productive way, you can even win people over even while you’re in an argument.

We recommend self-processing. Think about your sentences before you speak, especially during an argument. This helps you not to be overly obnoxious or cruel in combat. Give the other person space and time to speak their mind, listen, and respond carefully.

As you learn how to use healthy arguments, you might even find your relationships grow. “Great friendships grow through the discussion of ideas,” says Susan McLennan. “Inevitably, you and your new friend will disagree on some of these ideas. You want your honesty and authenticity to shine through and not be taken over by a misguided desire to be right. Differences of opinion strengthen a friendship. They signal resilience and expand their boundaries and scope.” As Dr. Bruce Bassi adds, this type of reasoning might even help you and the other person find “common ground.”