The Little Mermaid Is So Silly It Looks Like A Children’s Movie

The mermaid may even be petite, though she is of a more average height. But the film’s problems are gigantic, at least in some important ways.

With confusing visual stimuli and a lot of pyrotechnics, The Little Mermaid is a silly film, which remains in the shallows without delving into any of its possibilities. The brief catharses and the puerile atmosphere seem tailor-made to please nostalgic people and especially children —which perhaps even makes sense, considering that it is a children’s film.

Anyway, when they announced that they would make a live action version of Disney’s animated classic, I didn’t imagine that I would see something so dark and realistic, in the style of Christopher Nolan’s productions.

The point is that some scenes were so dark that you can’t even understand what’s going on. And they invested millions to make the cutest characters in the cartoon, like the crab and the little fish, with the typical appearance of taxidermy.

And so far, so good — the aesthetic option could be a good complement to a radically different narrative, one that justifies the distance from the more playful universe we have become accustomed to. Hans Christian Andersen’s original tale is said to have a bloody turn and a tragic ending, but the only tragedy in the film is the audience.

The production misses the opportunity to explore new reasons and emotions of the mermaid legend. I had never particularly watched the animation, so I was curious to understand more about that rich universe. I was stunned to learn that merpeople exist, for example—something that, when you think about it, makes a lot of sense.

But the biggest shock was when I found out that The Little Mermaid is actually a musical. I insist on stressing this here, because I don’t know if I would have left home if I had this information from the beginning.

I’m always confused by musicals. I don’t know if in the story the people are really singing that cheesy nonsense or if it’s all happening in their imaginations, or if maybe they know they’re in a movie that happens to be a musical. I completely lose myself.

At a certain point, the protagonist loses her voice and I thought we would get rid of the singing, but with sophisticated narrative resources, she continues to sing even with her mouth closed. Apparently the music takes place in her head, or in ours, I don’t know anymore, but she keeps singing.

And how well he sings. In the midst of a film that at its best moments feels like a Windows 95 screensaver, the extraordinary Halle Bayley is an oasis of charisma, talent and grace.

The Little Mermaid, however, also has a rather weak script. And I wonder if those responsible joined the strike before the rest of the category. Many things happen just “just because”, which would leave Zequinha from Castelo Rá-Tim-Bum very frustrated, because it was thanks to him that I learned that “because yes is not the answer”.

Half-baked plots, characters developed with the help of forceps and an exhaustive rhythm — who needs two hours to tell a fairy tale? If only it were an interview on Sérgio Mallandro’s podcast. But it is not.

It also bothers the film’s lack of humor. The few attempts at comedy are wasted by that crab that looks like it was stuffed by freshman students.

The list of things that go without further explanation is long. If Úrsula was so powerful, why was she hidden? If she could change the lower body part of others, why did she keep those tentacles on herself? And why yell so much? As for Ariel’s father, what was his problem with Earthlings? And what accounts for that sudden resurrection from complete nothingness? But the most serious: what the hell did Ariel see in that prince who looks like a tired Felipe Dylon?

These are questions that will not find answers, at least until they announce a continuation. And now I’m not in a hurry either.

We’ll be back anytime with new information.

#Mermaid #Silly #Childrens #Movie

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